


Past the Shadows In My Mind

by roseandheather



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6271471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseandheather/pseuds/roseandheather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christa has a baby, Leanne is scared, and Ed is a bastion of strength.</p><p>Leanne doesn't know how to handle any of these things very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past the Shadows In My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is a loose spinoff of _La Vie en Rose_ , in that it's sort of canon to that fic but doesn't have to be. Mostly I just wanted to write tooth-rotting fluff.
> 
> This isn't nearly as good as I'd like it to be, but it's the best one of the three lurking in my drafts and the other two are going nowhere fast, so I figured I'd try and get it out anyway. Hope it's not a tremendous disappointment.

Leanne comes out looking absolutely exhausted.

She freezes when she sees Ed, lounging on a bench just a few feet down the empty, quiet hall. "What are you still doing here?"

"It's my hospital," he reminds her, walking toward her and taking her hands. "And I was waiting for you, of course. How is everyone?"

"The baby is fine," she says wearily, unconsciously leaning into him. "Christa had a hard time of it, but she should be all right in the end. They're giving her a transfusion now."

"A transfusion?" Now he's genuinely alarmed. "Did she - "

"Nothing too terrible," she reassures him, and doesn't fight it as he draws her into his arms. "But she lost more blood than we'd like, and at her age..."

Leanne trails off, and he just nods, hugging her closer. Christa Lorenson is as determined as anyone he's ever met, and no weakling, but she's in her mid-forties and it's been well over a decade since she last had a baby; no wonder labor had taken its toll, he thinks.

And Leanne...

Leanne looks _wrecked,_ her eyes red from crying, her cheeks salt-stained and pale. "Come sit down," he urges, drawing her down beside him on the bench. She curls into his side with a grateful sigh, resting her head on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Wearily, she shakes her head, but starts talking anyway, as though she can't help herself. "She was so brave," Leanne says, her hands tightening unconsciously around his. "She was the one trying to keep Neal calm, of all things! And when things got really bad - I mean, there she was, crying her eyes out, squeezing our hands so hard we'll both have bruises tomorrow, and she's trying so hard not to scream, saying 'Don't worry about me, I can do this' - I was supposed to be the one comforting _her,_ but that's Christa for you. She just wanted to protect Neal, she didn't want him to worry - or me, but him most of all, because she _knows_ he won't handle it well. And he didn't, he almost punched a wall when they brought up giving her the transfusion. And she and I, both of us, we were just trying to keep him from freaking out, but we looked at each other and we didn't have to say anything, we both knew it wasn't good, but we had to pretend for his sake - not that I blame him, not one bit, the worry had to have been killing him, but I was scared too, we didn't know how bad it was - oh, Christ, Ed, there was _so_ much blood, and I - "

She breaks off the litany with a choked sob, and he shifts so he's kneeling on the floor, drawing her down until she's huddled in his lap, shaking and clutching at his shirt. "I've got you," he murmurs in her ear, gently rubbing her back. "It's all right, Lea. Christa will be fine, the baby's fine - it's all over now. She made it. You all did."

She just nods against his shoulder, her grip loosened but still there. "You didn't have to stay."

"Of course I did," he says, a bit affronted. "You might have needed me."

She jolts, pulling away to look at him. "You stayed just for that?"

She sounds utterly mystified, and his heart breaks a little at the confusion on her face. "Leanne," he says patiently, "sweetheart, I love you. If there's any chance I can help, of course I want to be here."

She stares at him for a minute, eyes wide, and then she buries her face in his shoulder and starts to shake.

She doesn't stop for quite some time.

~*~

"She's asking for you."

Neal's face is as haggard as Leanne remembers, but there's a smile in his eyes now, and something in her heart eases just to see it. Ed kisses the back of her hand as she scrambles up, clearly preparing to settle back down on the bench, and the look on his face is almost comical when Neal adds, "Both of you."

"Come on," she says, and twines her fingers with Ed's as they enter the room.

Christa is as pale as death, but when she sees them, her smile is absolutely radiant. "Hey," she says hoarsely, one finger still absently stroking her baby's cheek. The transfusion bag is half-empty and she has another three or four clear IV bags on the stand, but she doesn't seem to notice. "Do you want to hold her?"

Leanne squeaks, and has to stop herself from plucking the baby out of Christa's arms without any care for her mother. Instead, though, she gently slides one hand under the baby's head and back, and another under her hips, carefully avoiding Christa's IV catheter and lifting the blanket-wrapped bundle carefully to her chest. "Hello, little one," she murmurs, and the baby makes an indignant gurgle that subsides instantly once Leanne has her cradled firmly against her chest. "You're too small to be this much trouble to your mama, did you know that?"

Beside her she can distantly hear Ed speaking with Christa - offering his congratulations, it sounds like, and enquiring about how she's feeling - but she's entirely absorbed in the soft-scented bundle in her arms. It's been too long since she's truly held a newborn, never mind the newborn of someone she cares so deeply about, and there's a quiet, profound happiness in seeing Christa like this - exhausted, yes, but so clearly ecstatic, and here in her arms the living proof that sometimes the most beautiful roses bloom from ashes.

Eventually she comes back to herself enough to ask after a rather pertinent detail. "What's her name?"

Neal and Christa share a significant glance, and Leanne just has time to think ' _what?_ ' before Christa says, "We're calling her Allie - short for Asra Lianne."

"Assuming," adds Neal into the stunned silence, "her namesake has no objection."

 _I've done far too much crying tonight,_ she thinks, and just has time to notice Ed gently lifting Allie from her arms before she presses her hands to her cheeks. "Christa," she rasps, "you don't have to - "

"Yes, we do," says Neal, even as his thumb absently rubs Christa's shoulder. "You have been a pillar of both our lives, Leanne - it's only fitting."

"You gave me my second chance," Christa adds, and reaches out to gently tug one of Leanne's hands from her face. "Of course we'd want you to be a part of ours."

Wordless, Leanne can only nod and bend over to fold Christa into her arms.

Christa hugs her back, worryingly weak still, but her eyes are bright and her voice is warm, and finally, _finally_ Leanne begins to believe that there isn't another shoe waiting to drop. "This stuff matters," Christa whispers. "And _you_ matter. I can't change the past, as much as we both might wish it - but there _is_ a future worth living for, if you can just hold on long enough. You taught me that. Let us do this, Leanne. Please."

"Yes," Leanne blurts into the sturdy fabric of Christa's hospital gown, because there is nothing else she can say. "Of course, yes."

Christa beams then, bright enough to put the stars to shame, and closes her eyes as Leanne gently kisses her forehead.

Then, an obscurely pleased smile on her face, she whispers, "Look," and nods in Ed's direction.

Leanne looks, and feels her heart stumble.

Ed is holding baby Allie like he's done it a thousand times. She's comfortably cradled in the crook of his right arm and holding on to his left index finger, and he's murmuring to her too quietly for anyone else to hear. His smile is soft and reminiscent, and his eyes are shining. "I suppose I have to give you back to your mama now," he tells her, just loud enough for the others to hear. "Which I'm none too happy about. I haven't gotten to hold something so wonderful since Katie was born." He strokes Allie's cheek, and she gurgles cheerfully. "Now, let's get you back to - oh." His cheeks flushed, he settles Allie in Christa's arms with his eyes glued to her face. "Sorry," he says, abashed, when Christa has her baby securely in her arms again. "I think I got a little carried away."

"Don't apologize," says Leanne just a bit sharply, her voice so hoarse it even surprises her. "You're a natural."

He ducks his head. "I had a lot of practice with my niece."

"Katie?" asks Christa, as she settles Allie more comfortably, and Ed nods.

"Yes. But she's seven now, so it's been awhile."

"It didn't look like it," says Christa, her eyes twinkling. "I'm almost sorry to take her away from you."

"I'm almost sorry to give her up," Ed replies, and then Leanne kisses him.

She breaks away after a moment, clearing her throat, while Ed stands a bit poleaxed next to her. "You get some sleep," she orders Christa gruffly, then turns to Neal. "And _you_ take care of them." She pats Neal's shoulder, a bit awkwardly, then hugs Christa gently to her, takes Ed's hand in hers, and tows him out the door.

~*~

Neal and Christa look at each other for quite awhile, a bit stunned themselves, then crack up laughing.

"She doesn't even know, does she?" Christa asks eventually, when her poor, abused abdominal muscles have stopped aching quite so badly.

"That she wants to marry him? Not a clue." Plopping down in the chair beside his wife, he leans over to kiss her cheek, then their baby's. "I wonder how long it'll take her to figure it out."

"If Allie's not already in preschool by then," Christa predicts, "it'll be a miracle." And without further ado, she flicks off the lights, Allie still snuggled comfortably in her arms.

Within half an hour, all three of them are sound asleep.


End file.
